


Stranded

by MiHnn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Companionable Snark, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-07
Updated: 2011-12-07
Packaged: 2017-10-27 01:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiHnn/pseuds/MiHnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know, Granger, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought you didn't like me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stranded

  
"Umph."

"Oof."

"Ah."

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop _shoving_!"

"...no."

"Malfoy!"

"Granger!"

"Stop mocking me!"

"Shan't."

"Ugh. You're insufferable!"

"What makes you think that, Granger?"

"Hm. Let me think... There I was minding my own business, walking down the hall-"

"Strutting, more like."

"And then _you_ come along and _shove_ me into a broom closet-"

"Which I must say was a community service. I think others will glorify me. Erect a statue and make my birthday a holiday."

"Of course, _you_ would think that with your level of modesty. But my point is, I'm stranded here - in a dark place which feels like no where and is too spacious to be any closet, with the only person I can't stand: you!"

"You know, Granger, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought you didn't like me."

"You shoved me into a broom closet, Malfoy. What makes you think I would?"

"How about the fact that you _dragged_ me into the broom closet with you? Honestly, woman, if you wanted to spend some alone time with me, all you had to do was ask."

"..."

"Granger?"

"Pardon the silence, Malfoy. I was trying my best not to vomit."

"Oh? Thinking of Weaslebee?"

"Please! You're scared of Ron, and we all know it."

" _Me_? Scared of that big, clumsy, oaf? You should wash that head of yours, Granger. Loony was right. You _are_ sometimes unusually dumb."

"That big, clumsy, oaf can beat you to a pulp when he wants to. Face it, Malfoy. When Ron towers over you, you turn into a yellow-bellied coward."

"I'll have you know that my belly is not yellow."

"Oh? Green then? To match those scales you have underneath?"

"However did you know?"

"I know you can't see it, but I'm glaring at you right now, Malfoy. You're lucky I don't have my wand."

"And you're lucky I'm not using mine on you."

"..."

"Granger?"

"..."

"Grang- Ow! What was that for?"

"You imbecile! If you have your wand, get us out of here! Wherever _here_ is!"

"What do you mean get us out? The door has been unlocked all this time."

"... _what_? But when you said-"

"I lied."

"Ugh."

"Granger! Stop that! Stop hitting me! Get off!"

"You are a slimy, perverse, annoying _git_! And I hope Harry and Ron mop the floor with you!"

"Granger, if you're insinuating that I shoved you into this broom closet so that Weaselbee would see us walking out together, jump to a completely ridiculous conclusion and be so distracted that he makes an absolute buggering arse of himself at today's Quidditch match, then I'm just _offended_."

"You're despicable!"

"Some might say so, yes."

"Ugh."

"Oi! Did you just-... Where's my wand?"

"Ba-bye, Malfoy."

"Wait! You didn't! Granger! Granger! Open the bleeding door, Granger! Granger! Hmph! Women! So bloody sensitive sometimes."


End file.
